At the Chottanikkar temple....

At this temple so many thoughts crowd me. What is that brings me to the steps of some famous and some not so famous temples and why do I go to these temples at all. What is it that makes me take detours, make arrangements and make it possible to be in the temples or near a deity? What is that which made me remove all my upper clothes to enter the sanctum sanctorum (This is a custom in many temples which all have to follow to enter in the presence of the deity) where as I was very reluctant to remove in public. Why? Sitting on those steps I looked at one very old lady gyrating her head with her long old hair flying all around her, in total silence with her eyes fixed at the Idol. Why does she do it? To show to the people around that she is in trance or she really is in trance? But she never once looked at me or at the other people around her. She kept on shaking her head with murmuring lips.